Hey all you followers out there - we have moved the blog to the shalomdc website. You can find me there every week. Just go to www.shalomdc.org and there is a link on the homepage to the blog. As soon as we can hook up the automatic notification we will let you know. You can always RSS feed the blog if you like.
Thanks for following!
Orlee
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Reinvent
Even though I tend to buy my coffee more at Panera these days, Starbucks always provides a source of inspiration for me. Yesterday, my son and I stopped in a Starbucks on our way to the dentist (you always have to balance the "yucky" responsibilities with a little "yummy" fun). While we were waiting for our drinks I saw a pile of mugs on the counter. Now, admittedly, the last thing I need is another mug, but this one caught my eye as the only word on it was "REINVENT". I thought, yes, this is something to look at every morning.
What would happen if every day I thought about the need to reinvent? Not reinvent the wheel - reinvent my world, my work, my self. What is an impetus for reinvention? The realization that things can be even better than they are. Life does not have to be dysfunctional to want to start it anew. In fact, many times it is those of us who are happy with the way things are going that desire reivention. Why start over if you don't like the thing in the first place? It is the recognition of the good that allows us to make it even better. But incremental change isn't always enough. Our world is moving at lightning speed (or at least internet speed). The sands under us are shifting - and that's not a bad thing - only a recognition of different. So let's reinvent.
Our Jewish tradition gives us ample opportunity for reinvention. Our religion changes over time. The practices that any one of us keep are vastly different from those of our ancestors like Abraham and Isaac. This time of year is the pinnacle of reinvention. We are entering the High Holy Days in just a few short weeks. No need to wait until we are standing in Synagogue to start thinking about what we would change in our lives. Let's start re-imagining, re-inventing and re-committing.
Now every morning I come to work and look at my mug reminding me to start my day creatively. And the best part? The mug was on sale! See, sometimes the best ideas can be the bargain ones.
Leadership Lesson: Start every day thinking about what you need to reinvent today. What area needs your attention? What isn't getting you the desired results? Maybe it needs an overhaul. Invention is about trial and error -- so try and evaluate. Maybe you'll strike upon the million dollar idea.
What would happen if every day I thought about the need to reinvent? Not reinvent the wheel - reinvent my world, my work, my self. What is an impetus for reinvention? The realization that things can be even better than they are. Life does not have to be dysfunctional to want to start it anew. In fact, many times it is those of us who are happy with the way things are going that desire reivention. Why start over if you don't like the thing in the first place? It is the recognition of the good that allows us to make it even better. But incremental change isn't always enough. Our world is moving at lightning speed (or at least internet speed). The sands under us are shifting - and that's not a bad thing - only a recognition of different. So let's reinvent.
Our Jewish tradition gives us ample opportunity for reinvention. Our religion changes over time. The practices that any one of us keep are vastly different from those of our ancestors like Abraham and Isaac. This time of year is the pinnacle of reinvention. We are entering the High Holy Days in just a few short weeks. No need to wait until we are standing in Synagogue to start thinking about what we would change in our lives. Let's start re-imagining, re-inventing and re-committing.
Now every morning I come to work and look at my mug reminding me to start my day creatively. And the best part? The mug was on sale! See, sometimes the best ideas can be the bargain ones.
Leadership Lesson: Start every day thinking about what you need to reinvent today. What area needs your attention? What isn't getting you the desired results? Maybe it needs an overhaul. Invention is about trial and error -- so try and evaluate. Maybe you'll strike upon the million dollar idea.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Arrogance: Friend or Foe?
As the race heats up for DC mayor, people are pulling out all the stops. In this morning's Washington Post Courtney Milloy ran an article entitled "Arrogance has cost Fenty the support of this wise woman." While I have no horse in the mayor's race, I found it interesting that Milloy chose arrogance as his weapon of choice.
For leaders there is a fine line between "arrogance" and "confidence." When I say "we will get this done," am I being cocky? Determined? Inspiring?
We all need the confidence to do what needs to be done. How can we make changes and hard decisions if we don't believe in ourselves and our vision?
So what is "arrogance" that turns people off and does the opposite of inspire? This woman from Milloy's article proves her wisdom when she states, "[Arrogance] keeps you from admitting your mistakes and makes it impossible for you to learn from them." Arrogance, then, is more like "infallibility."
Leadership lesson: None of us are supermen. We are not God. As Miley Cyrus sings "everybody makes mistakes." To think that somehow our confidence indicates that we will not make a misstep is the critical flaw that leads to arrogance. We will get this done. But it might not be as I originally envisioned. Possibilities exist that might mean I have to rethink, accept criticism, retool, debate and recommit. I might have to apologize and change my actions. This is all part of the confidence that comes with leadership. The confidence to admit when you are wrong -- and that it does not detract from your leadership ability, it enhances it. This is the humility of Moses. In the Bible he does wrong and thinks wrong, and he admits it, apologizes for it and takes his consequences for it. But he never loses his confidence to lead.
For leaders there is a fine line between "arrogance" and "confidence." When I say "we will get this done," am I being cocky? Determined? Inspiring?
We all need the confidence to do what needs to be done. How can we make changes and hard decisions if we don't believe in ourselves and our vision?
So what is "arrogance" that turns people off and does the opposite of inspire? This woman from Milloy's article proves her wisdom when she states, "[Arrogance] keeps you from admitting your mistakes and makes it impossible for you to learn from them." Arrogance, then, is more like "infallibility."
Leadership lesson: None of us are supermen. We are not God. As Miley Cyrus sings "everybody makes mistakes." To think that somehow our confidence indicates that we will not make a misstep is the critical flaw that leads to arrogance. We will get this done. But it might not be as I originally envisioned. Possibilities exist that might mean I have to rethink, accept criticism, retool, debate and recommit. I might have to apologize and change my actions. This is all part of the confidence that comes with leadership. The confidence to admit when you are wrong -- and that it does not detract from your leadership ability, it enhances it. This is the humility of Moses. In the Bible he does wrong and thinks wrong, and he admits it, apologizes for it and takes his consequences for it. But he never loses his confidence to lead.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Burnt Leaders
I happened to catch the biopic on the Beach Boys last night. The screenwriter spins an almost apologetic tale of the meteoric rise of the singing group in the 60's from the point of view of Brian Wilson. Brian was the musical genius behind the group. His ear for music, arrangement, writing and producing put the Beach Boys on the map. No one would question his place in musical history. What isn't so clear is what happened to him. Brian Wilson turned into a recluse who could not continue writing, refused to tour with the band, turned to drugs and suffered from psychological trauma.
His story left me pondering the burdens of leadership. In the movie, Mrs. Wilson tells Brian when he feels that he can never meet the expectations of the group, the record company and his father, "You have a God given gift. It's no wonder people want to share in it."
How many times do we stop to question the expectations we place upon our leaders? Once we have evidence of a talent or gift, we want to suck it dry. We feel, sometimes unspoken, that the person who was granted the gift has a responsibility to share it with us. A responsibility to lead. A responsibility to fulfill the vision. Our appetite is unsatiable.
This is the trap the children of Israel fell into with Moses. How many times do they complain in the book of Numbers? One complaint after another. Hasn't Moses done enough? He led them out of slavery. He provided food and shelter in the desert. He brought them close to God. Dayenu! It should have been enough. But it never was.
We need to seriously consider how we treat our leaders. It is our obligation as followers to protect and nurture our leaders. We cannot allow them to burn out. More to the point, we cannot cause them to burn out. Even Moses got burnt out. (Maybe that's why he starts his leadership journey with a bush on fire that never burns out?)
Leadership lesson: Take care of your leaders. Take care of yourself if you are a leader. Recognize that our natural instinct is to keep asking for more until the person yells uncle. Only most people won't recognize that they should cry uncle. Instead, people turn to drugs, alcohol reclusiveness, "out of the public arena" and other actions that harm themselves or deprive the world of their gifts. How are we going to ensure they and their gifts are treasured and taken care of?
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Resisting Change
While on vacation with my family, I watched a DVD which struck a soulful chord with me. Many times movies move me, and this one really upset me. The movie, Whale Rider, is about a tribe in New Zealand who is searching for their next leader. At first blush there is much to get upset about: the complete disregard for women, the father's abandonment of his daughter, the grandfather's cruelty to his granddaughter. But this disturbance ran deeper.
The movie really explores the difficulties all of us have with letting go of our expectations and the damage we can do when we cling to them. The grandfather expected that the new leader of the tribe would be a boy and no matter what circumstances and evidence proclaimed differently, he was stuck so much in this dream that he almost sacrifices his entire tribe. All the while the "savior" was right under his nose.
As the story is written, the girl doesn't ever give up. She tries time and again. Is beaten down and derided. But she still follows her destiny. In the face of all odds. I kept thinking, what if she just gave up on them? Then where would they be?
Leadership Lesson: How many times have we been trapped by our own expectations? Not seeing that there are solutions right in front of us if we would only follow them. They might look different than what we pictured, but can we adapt? I suppose this is the crux of Heifetz and Linsky's "adapative leadership." Not only do we have to be on the constant lookout for change that needs to be made, but we must accept that change might come in different form than expected. Or maybe we can not set up expectations of the form of change for fear of missing solutions right under our noses.
The movie really explores the difficulties all of us have with letting go of our expectations and the damage we can do when we cling to them. The grandfather expected that the new leader of the tribe would be a boy and no matter what circumstances and evidence proclaimed differently, he was stuck so much in this dream that he almost sacrifices his entire tribe. All the while the "savior" was right under his nose.
As the story is written, the girl doesn't ever give up. She tries time and again. Is beaten down and derided. But she still follows her destiny. In the face of all odds. I kept thinking, what if she just gave up on them? Then where would they be?
Leadership Lesson: How many times have we been trapped by our own expectations? Not seeing that there are solutions right in front of us if we would only follow them. They might look different than what we pictured, but can we adapt? I suppose this is the crux of Heifetz and Linsky's "adapative leadership." Not only do we have to be on the constant lookout for change that needs to be made, but we must accept that change might come in different form than expected. Or maybe we can not set up expectations of the form of change for fear of missing solutions right under our noses.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Failed Leadership
Last night I sat down and watched three hours of Gandhi. It was a fast day and I figured this movie was a win-win. Gandhi leads through hunger strikes and we would be very hungry at the end of the longest fast day of the year (Jews fast 5 times a year - winter ones being the best!). Plus it is a three hour plus long movie which would take us right to the end of the fast at 9:30pm if I timed it right. The last hours are always the hardest. So here we were gathered, me and three of my children, watching the tale of a leader who fought two countries for the rights and equality of his Indian people.
Although I had last seen the movie back in the 1990's (remember the intermission in the middle?), I was watching through a very different lens this time. I am putting together a leadership book and movie club and thought that Gandhi would be a wonderful addition to this offering.
There is no question that Gandhi was a strong leader who had many followers. He accomplished a great deal - no small part of it Indian rights in South Africa and the independent India as part of the British Commonwealth. And he did it all while staying true to his authentic self - non-violence as the means of change.
But, as I asked my kids over our break-fast, was he successful? We should not confuse accomplishment with success. Gandhi was very accomplished. He brought about much needed change. Yet toward the end of the movie Gandhi says, "I failed." He is referring to his dream of a united India where religious differences do not affect social treatment, where Hindus and Muslims live and rule together. This does not happen. India is split into India and Pakistan and people are forced from one country to the other depending on their religion. This dream is unfinished. And in truth, this was Gandhi's fight all along - equality and tolerance for all under the same flag.
Leadership Lesson: When we reach for the BHAG, the Big Hairy Audacious Goal (from Jim Collins), it is very possible that we will come up short. We will hopefully accomplish a great deal along the way. We can become great people, great leaders and even revered. We can also fail in our leadership mission. It will happen. Not everyone can succeed. Just like in the Bible we learn from great leaders that we will not always succeed, but we must make the quest. Aim really high - some of us will succeed.
Although I had last seen the movie back in the 1990's (remember the intermission in the middle?), I was watching through a very different lens this time. I am putting together a leadership book and movie club and thought that Gandhi would be a wonderful addition to this offering.
There is no question that Gandhi was a strong leader who had many followers. He accomplished a great deal - no small part of it Indian rights in South Africa and the independent India as part of the British Commonwealth. And he did it all while staying true to his authentic self - non-violence as the means of change.
But, as I asked my kids over our break-fast, was he successful? We should not confuse accomplishment with success. Gandhi was very accomplished. He brought about much needed change. Yet toward the end of the movie Gandhi says, "I failed." He is referring to his dream of a united India where religious differences do not affect social treatment, where Hindus and Muslims live and rule together. This does not happen. India is split into India and Pakistan and people are forced from one country to the other depending on their religion. This dream is unfinished. And in truth, this was Gandhi's fight all along - equality and tolerance for all under the same flag.
Leadership Lesson: When we reach for the BHAG, the Big Hairy Audacious Goal (from Jim Collins), it is very possible that we will come up short. We will hopefully accomplish a great deal along the way. We can become great people, great leaders and even revered. We can also fail in our leadership mission. It will happen. Not everyone can succeed. Just like in the Bible we learn from great leaders that we will not always succeed, but we must make the quest. Aim really high - some of us will succeed.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
I'm Not Afraid
I'm not afraid to take a stand
Everybody come take my hand
We'll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just let you know that, you're not alone
Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road
Now I have to admit I am the furthest thing from an Eminem fan. As a protective mother of four, I hear his voice on the radio and immediately reach for the button to change channels. It was only after some incessant pleading from my teenager that this was "honestly" a great song that I would like, did I even give it my cynical half ear.
Let me also say that while I think this is a great message to kids and adults alike, I am only recommending the clean version. I guess it was too much to think that this rapper would clean up both his message and his language. But with the bleeping or silent skipping of offensive words, this song does has a lot of heart.
And I just can't keep living this way
So starting today, I'm breaking out of this cage
I'm standing up, Imma face my demons
I'm manning up, Imma hold my ground
I've had enough, now I'm so fed up
Time to put my life back together right now
Change. Hope. This is the real message. These are not words to be bantered about in a political campaign. These are words to live by. We can change. We all have hope. Today things can be different.
The real poignant point of this song, though, is that in order to change, you cannot be afraid. How many times do we look around and think I would like to change, but...
We list fear after fear that keep us from changing. Our nature is to be afraid.
The Israelites in the desert kept running into their fear even as they were under the aegis of God. How many times did they fear for their lives? In this week's Torah portion, another version of the same fear is recorded. There was no water and the people gathered against Moses and Aaron. "Why have you brought us into this wilderness that we and our cattle should die here?" (Deut. 20, 4) Our most basic fear of death.
The Israelites needed to change. They had to cease being slaves and grow into citizens. But their fear kept them from realizing their dream. No one of this generation entered the land of Israel. The fear was too overwhelming. And it cost them.
What would it look like to change our sentence from "I would like to change, but..." to "I would like to change, and..." I recognize my fear. It is a natural part of me - and - I am going to choose to be fearless - to forge ahead without dwelling on the risk.
Leadership lesson: Tackle your own demons, challenges and goals without fear. You will feel the fear. Turn it into adrenaline to keep you moving toward your objective. Notice the fear creeping in. And, as Eminem sings, take confidence from knowing that others have faced down their fears as well. Find support - holla if you feel you've been down the same road.
Everybody come take my hand
We'll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just let you know that, you're not alone
Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road
Now I have to admit I am the furthest thing from an Eminem fan. As a protective mother of four, I hear his voice on the radio and immediately reach for the button to change channels. It was only after some incessant pleading from my teenager that this was "honestly" a great song that I would like, did I even give it my cynical half ear.
Let me also say that while I think this is a great message to kids and adults alike, I am only recommending the clean version. I guess it was too much to think that this rapper would clean up both his message and his language. But with the bleeping or silent skipping of offensive words, this song does has a lot of heart.
And I just can't keep living this way
So starting today, I'm breaking out of this cage
I'm standing up, Imma face my demons
I'm manning up, Imma hold my ground
I've had enough, now I'm so fed up
Time to put my life back together right now
Change. Hope. This is the real message. These are not words to be bantered about in a political campaign. These are words to live by. We can change. We all have hope. Today things can be different.
The real poignant point of this song, though, is that in order to change, you cannot be afraid. How many times do we look around and think I would like to change, but...
We list fear after fear that keep us from changing. Our nature is to be afraid.
The Israelites in the desert kept running into their fear even as they were under the aegis of God. How many times did they fear for their lives? In this week's Torah portion, another version of the same fear is recorded. There was no water and the people gathered against Moses and Aaron. "Why have you brought us into this wilderness that we and our cattle should die here?" (Deut. 20, 4) Our most basic fear of death.
The Israelites needed to change. They had to cease being slaves and grow into citizens. But their fear kept them from realizing their dream. No one of this generation entered the land of Israel. The fear was too overwhelming. And it cost them.
What would it look like to change our sentence from "I would like to change, but..." to "I would like to change, and..." I recognize my fear. It is a natural part of me - and - I am going to choose to be fearless - to forge ahead without dwelling on the risk.
Leadership lesson: Tackle your own demons, challenges and goals without fear. You will feel the fear. Turn it into adrenaline to keep you moving toward your objective. Notice the fear creeping in. And, as Eminem sings, take confidence from knowing that others have faced down their fears as well. Find support - holla if you feel you've been down the same road.
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